Top five things to do with an abandoned Milton Keynes warehouse

By 16th September 2011Feature

Hard times in recent years have left the concrete city with a rusty stream of empty warehouses blighting our landscape. But times they are a-changing, and out of the commercial gloom, green shoots are emerging. From the MK Lions’ big box Winterhill basketball arena, to the Christian lovies’ massive Newlife church in Wolverton Mill, it seems everybody’s looking to create some wacky warehouse wickedness.

Inspired with this creative use of empty commercial space, we’ve come up with our own top five things to do with an abandoned MK warehouse. Let’s make it happen, people.

1. Build a superclub: This is something we have been gagging for since what seems like the dawn of time. Imagine The Sanctuary on crack – a big fat box of love to help entertain those of us who are just too damn lazy to get on a train to London to get our clubbing fix. Magic.


2. Start an international midget wrestling training centre: Just think of it – a global epicenter where the vertically challenged can engage in the age-old tradition of midget wrestling. We all love little people – especially when they’re dressed in spandex. Plus these warehouses are pretty big – just think how many spandexed dwarves you could fit inside just one of them. The mind boggles.Beatcheck's little people

3. Make a skate park: a massive, massive skate park. We’d love it, and it’d draw skaters in from the station – giving one less thing for commuters to moan about. God, we’ve thought of everyone here.

4. Open a….warehouse: You know, try and attract a company which actually employs people? We might sell that idea to the Council, as they don’t seem to have thought of it first.

5. Cultivate a crop farm: And we’re not talking no ordinary crops here…. Smokin’!

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